Artist Maricarmen Pizano

I have been feeling pretty cruddy the last few days, but I feel like I am starting to come out of this cold. I’m was very bummed to have missed the MPCA meeting yesterday, but I figured that it would be best to keep my germs at home. I made it through work today, so I think I am on the upswing! I have a deliciously-scented french press full of “Witch’s Tea” from Jacqueline’s Tea Room brewing, so I hope that will lift my spirits too.

Probably the one thing that I hate the most about being sick (other than the discomfort) is that nagging feeling that I could be doing something more with my time. I also refer to it is the “Superwoman Syndrome”. Yes, not only can Superwoman save lives but also keep the perfect home. And, of course, she never gets sick! So why can’t I do everything that I am supposed to be doing – running errands, cleaning, cooking meals, etc – even when I am sick? Pretty crazy, right?

I have always had a hard time slowing down when I am sick. Gotta go to work. Gotta go to class. Gotta go to appointments. Gotta go to the store… So when I have to cancel my plans because I am sick, I feel so damn guilty! I worry about “things” not getting done. I worry about what people think of me when I cancel plans. Do they think I am lazy? Do they think that I don’t care? Grr! So instead of resting, my mind kicks into overdrive, and I feel so even more miserable!

Slowly I am getting better about this, but I still wrestle with this odd kind of guilt. If it was anyone else then I would tell them to stay home, rest, and wish them well – so why do I have such a hard time allowing myself to stay home and rest? Why do I feel like the weight of the world is crushing down on me when I have to slow down or stop to let my body heal? I know, it’s crazy! I know I am not so important that all hell is gonna break loose if I am not present and accounted for!

I’d like to be able to say someday that instead of being “under the weather and panicking” that I am “under the weather and dreaming”.

My Candlemas Collage 2010

"The Birth of Venus" by Sandro Botticelli

I will be honoring the Goddess Aphrodite in February! Of course, it is perfect timing, since Valentine’s Day is just a few weeks away

Hermes - Messenger of the Gods

Over the course of this month I have focused my spiritual work with Hermes, Messenger of the Olympian Gods. I have called Him forth and spent time in His presence. I have honored Him by playing a recording of ancient lyre music and gifted him with coins. Also, I have dedicated my divination stones in His name. I read hymns out loud in candlelight and even pondered life with Him while staring out into the fury of a nighttime snow storm. I have learned His creation story and sought out signs of his presence in my day-to-day life. I built an altar in his honor, but I have decided not to post a picture of it. I built the altar for Him, and I think that I will keep the altar just between Hermes and me. So instead, I have posted a traditional drawing of Hermes to share with you all.

I think one of the insights I have received from Hermes is something that I have already had an awareness of, but my experience with Hermes has confirmed my beliefs. Hermes’ has several powers, but He is strongest in the realm of communication. I think that I am fairly well-spoken and written, but this month I think Hermes message to me was that even with the best intentions, communication can get really, really messed up. Emotions can be stirred, and once hackles are raised it doesn’t matter what the message is, it will be misinterpreted. I am not going into the details of my recent first-hand experience of this fact, but I will say that something happened that will from this point on redefine a relationship that I have. It makes me sad, but Hermes has assured that me that sometimes miscommunications happen for a reason to force situations to “right” themselves. In this case, the relationship needed to change tracks in order to continue. I feel very confident that this new track will lead to better communication in the long run, but in the moment it is very comfortable. I hope to come to a resolution tomorrow, so I begin to put this incident behind me.

I am very happy that Hermes was so welcoming, although the trick with hiding my keys was very sneaky! I don’t remember if I posted about this, but my keys were found the next day. A coworker had mistakenly taken them home. I guess I can be happy that the Trickster aspect of Hermes played around with me just once!

Hermes, Messenger God, I thank you for your insight, your playfulness and your presence. May I always be in your good graces! Blessed be!